Bravo, Mr. Homer. Bravo.

The Simpsons - The Complete Sixth SeasonPer tradition, Ashley gave me The Simpson’s Complete Fifth and Sixth Season DVDs for our sixth wedding anniversary. Does she know me, or does she know me?

Imagine my shock and horror when I opened the sixth season DVD, only to find the box shaped like Homer’s head instead of a regularly-shaped box. A regularly-shaped box that would, naturally, be suitable for stacking under the coffee table (or, should the urge strike me, using to build a tiny little fort).

Apparently, I’m not the only person in the world that’s anal-retentive enough to want all of the DVDs to come in the same form factor – inside the box, I found the following instructions:

For all those that fear change…

For all those anal retentive nerds who like their DVD boxes to line up perfectly on the shelf…

For all those who dislike storing their digital media inside a hollowed-out human head, have we got a deal for you: Just call 1-800-223-2369 for a very derivative, old-style, just-like-before box with almost nothing new or creative to annoy or terrify you. Enjoy!

The really sad part? Anal retentive nerds are the core demographic for The Simpsons! How the hell could they not expect a non-threatening throng of nerds to rush the studio gates and demand redress? The recovery, however, almost makes me think they just did it to yank their customers’ chains. I mean, just listen to Homer’s message at the customer service phone number (that number again: 1-800-223-2369):

Welcome, disgruntled consumers! You have reached The Simpsons’ Season Six replacement box hoax…uh, I mean number. Don’t worry, this is not a hoax…or is it?

No, it is not!

Most likely.

Anyway, for more details on how you can receive an old boring style box, totally free of charge…except for stupid shipping and handling…I hate handling…just buy a computer and go to www.simpsonsbox.com. The web site will tell you exactly what to do to take advantage of this hoax. Ohhh, why do I keep saying that?

Or do I?

Actually, I think the box you already have is totally cool. But what do I know? I mean, you’re the customer, so I guess you know best. Oh, let’s not get into this.

If you still need help, stay on the line. If you don’t, then stop calling here, this is my home.

Love you!

Heck, the website even stipulates that you’ll need to provide a “solemn promise to stop your whining” in addition to proof of purchase to get a replacement box. It’s clever.

Almost too clever.

Bravo, Mr. Homer. Bravo.

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